After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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