No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
you had me at cake vodka
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
