dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
