I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
