We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He felt like a one man threesome
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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