my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize