why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
