It's a beautiful day for a hangover
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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