how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
