He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
