OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
