good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
