my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
He did a backflip because drugs
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
