the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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