no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
