and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
