My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
it was like eating out sand paper
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
