I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
