Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize