She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
