trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Farmville is her only friend.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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