I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Randomize
