You just made me feel so damn special
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
