when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
We have so much sex to catch up on
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
