But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
