I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Let's get the cat blown out
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize