Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
