My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
