Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
