I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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