don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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