Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i will never coherently bang her
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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