i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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