are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Randomize
