She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
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