We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
