I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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