Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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