I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This beer is not sobering me up at all
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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