I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
