So drunk its hurt
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
