: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
