Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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