Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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