Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I have tasted many bathrooms
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You peed on a flamingo?!?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
