the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
sarcasm needs its own font
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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