I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
