we have pet lesbian snakes
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
