I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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