Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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