im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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