she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Randomize
