I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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