Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
