I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
