Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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