gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
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Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize