I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
you inspire me to be a worse person
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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