We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize