I need help removing her.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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