Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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