Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
worst night to have a conscience
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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