whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
