Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
