her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
